Appearances Can Be Tricky

When I tried to check-in on-line, I was informed that I had to do that at the terminal. I assumed that that meant that I would be speaking to a person once I reached the terminal; but when I arrived the only available person was the employee on duty whose assignment was to help people, like me, use the automated teller. No problem, right?

I did my homework and knew the bag fees would be $270 (three bags: first one “free”, second one $70, and the third one $200, which made me wonder why obscenity laws do not include airline baggage fees.) I decided to pay by credit card, and to be honest, it was easy enough. After I declined the $700 option to upgrade to first-class through to Amsterdam, I swiped my card. $270. Done; or so I thought.

I got to the counter where the little game I like to call “Let’s See How Accurate the Bathroom Scale Is” began. Sure enough, after some minor repositioning of several items from one bag to my backpack, I appeared to be on my way. Appearances can be tricky. As I hoisted the backpack and bent to pick up the shoulder bag and CPAP machine (uhh, yeah, that’s a different story) the agent said, “Why didn’t you buy the first-class upgrade to Philadelphia? You’d’a saved about twenty bucks and you could sit in first class.”

“Because that machine said it cost seven hundred dollars,” I told her as I pointed to the culprit still standing perfectly still behind me where I left it, leering at me knowing it had deprived me of my opportunity to sit with the big kids.

“Oh no, Sir. The upgrade is just for the first leg—to Philly. The first two bags are free (I love the use of “free” in this sense; don’t you?) and the third is still 200. With the upgrade you still only pay 250.” (Again, “only” seems so innocent; doesn’t it?)

Hello. You don’t have to hit me on the head; so I said, “Wait…what? Can you say that again?” She did, and more than a few key strokes later, James F. was sitting in the all-the-booze-you-can-drink-in-an-hour-and-ten-minutes lap of luxury!

If you prefer a happy ending, stop here. If, on the other hand, you are the kind of person who believes that there really is no such thing as “something for nothing” read on…

Despite the obscene application of baggage fees in the amount of $270, the entire fee would have been reimbursed by my soon-to-be employer, ISA. Here’s the “something for nothing” part: reimbursement applies to baggage fees not upgrades. Yeah, like I said—tricky.

My Dutch Welcoming Committee--Eva and Jim